by Caitlin
I love broccoli. It's probably in my Top 5 favorite foods. Assuming we count salted caramel, chocolate, marshmallow and chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate, and Haribo as one category. Actually, I don't know that Haribo can be included in a category with anything else. Haribo deserves its own category. But then we'd actually need a whole other chart for Favorite Haribo. Yeah, that. Haribo gets its own rating system. It's only fair, I think we can agree.
God, what was I saying? Oh right. Broccoli.
Broccoli often gets a bad rap, but I love it. To me the taste is juuuuust vegetable-ish enough, yet still mild. When it's cooked properly and is still crunchy, when there's a sauce on my plate that I can drag the bushy tops through like a mop, that's when I'm happiest with my broccoli.
But consider, if you will, the humble broccoli stalk.
Look at this poor broccoli stalk. He is like Rudolph and all the cute little florets are hanging out laughing at him. Photo from nicoledula.com
Yes, my friends. The humble broccoli stalks that you've so cruelly been casting aside all these years have feelings. Delicious, delicious feelings.
Back in 1775 there was a man by the name of John Randolph, who was a farmer and congressman from Virginia. Based on the length of the Wikipedia article about him as well as the links in it to other important stuff, like the War of 1812, I can tell that John Randolph did a lot of important things. Governmenty things, I'd bet. A man doesn't get a Wikipedia article written about him with an above-the-fold link to the War of 1812 without being important. Probably. Anyway, like many other Virginian men of his time in he not only did Important Governmenty Things Probably, he also did Gardeny Things. And in 1775 he wrote a book called A Treatise on Gardening by a Citizen of Virginia. He called it that in case you forgot where he was from and also used a big word to remind you that he does Important Governmenty Stuff in case you forgot that too.
In my personal opinion after spending five minute researching the matter, the most important thing John Randolph did was write in that book this marvelous quote about broccoli, a vegetable which not a lot of people were familiar with at the time: "The stems will eat like Asparagus, and the heads like Cauliflower."
He's pretty much right on, but people ignored poor ole John Randolph and his broccoli opinions and 200 years later broccoli stems are rarely seen in restaurants and you can find broccoli crowns, a product that intentionally and systematically excludes the stalks, in most stores. How come THAT isn't in the Wikipedia article?
Broccoli stalks have a lovely, light crunch to them. They have a tough outer layer which I suspect helps fuel the lie that they're not delicious, but all you need to do is take a knife or vegetable peeler to that tough layer of skin and peel it away. Inside you'll find a tender, crunchy, and mildly sweet delight that you can stirfry, saute, grill, steam, blanch, you name it.
My husband frequently makes kind of filets out of them (keeping them long and cutting them down the middle), rubs them down with garlic, olive oil, salt, and pepper, and throws them on the grill. Try it this summer when you need a break from zucchini and corn.
If you're unfamiliar with broccoli stems on their own, however, there is one place you may have seen them without realizing it: Broccoli slaw. The broccoli magnates had to figure out what to do with all those stalks they lopped off the crowns, I suppose. I recently picked up a package of broccoli slaw, and I have no idea what to do with it. I'll most likely sprinkle it over salads, but what else is it good with? Maybe throw it in a frittata or in with some pasta? Do you have a favorite way of using it?
Have you tried broccoli stalks on their own? What should I do with broccoli slaw? Can you give the class a more accurate summary on the life's work of poor ole John Randolph?
