Last week, while us Food Lushies were out, the Food Network Stars partied like it was 1776. Vic was cute, Mary Beth was hilarious, Jyll tried to talk to Penny the Meanie and got burned (of course), Whitney wore a cowgirl hat and I loved her, Jeff was embarrassingly over-the-top, Chris was a frat boy (of course) and Justin *cough* poser *cough* FINALLY went home, HALLELUJAH.
This week, all of the contestants look EXHAUSTED, which Aarti (last year's winner) wrote about on her blog. (Go read it! All your questions will be answered!) This is yet another reason I would never succeed on this show, because momma needs her nigh-nigh, y'all.
Tyler Florene is in a parking lot with three food trucks. Yep, you guessed it, there will be three food truck teams made up of our finalists. The teams are: Vic, Jyll and Orchid; Jeff, Penny and MaryBeth; and Susie, Whitney and Chris. Each team has to create a truck concept and a commercial... which makes me instantly worried about Jeff and Chris which obviously is well-founded, since Chris loves the idea of "Chris' Angels" (seriously?!) and Jeff pushes "Balls on the Roll". I hide behind my laptop in embarrassment.
Vic, Jyll and Orchid are cute, although Orchid seems like she's butting in somehow, or maybe she's just nervous. Penny and MaryBeth are in love with their boobs. MaryBeth is sashaying and wiggling all over in front of the camera. MaryBeth! You are a writer! You are funny! You don't need to wiggle the girls to make us like you. I promise. Jeff and Susie especially could be funny, but the "Balls" shtick is just awkward. I'm still hiding behind my laptop. Make it stop! Tyler Florence says "Not bad, guys" which is the most uncomfortable non-compliment ever.
Tyler gives each team $1,000 and yells "let's get rollin'!" The teams give a weak "wooooo!" and sprint into an abandoned parking lot.
Restuarant Supply! I wish I had a family of 45 and I would shop at one of those places every day. I'm just intrigued. Whitney says that she's using cooked chickpeas to make falafel, which she's never done, but she only has two hours, so she HAS to. Really, Whits? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you don't HAVE to make falafel. Maybe you should pick a different dish that actually works for the challenge. Just sayin'.
Jyll interviews that Vic is over-complicating his dish, and hilariously looks nervous when Vic asks for American Cheese for his Philly CHEESEsteak. That's kinda a vital ingredient, Jyll. Maybe you should chill out. Penny and her boobs are running around like the world is ending and we cut to commercial.
When we return, Penny is asking Jeff how she got started in comedy and is being weirdly nice. I'm already suspicious of her. Whitney and Susie break out matching headbands to coordinate with Jeff and they say "BALLS!"
Ew.
I'm missing most of this episode because I'm hiding from the awkwardness. Even my laptop is blushing.
The Balls truck is still talking about their balls and I'm still embarrassed.
Vic is giggling while cuts up avocados and it's adorable. MaryBeth is nervously talking about her chicken wrap. Chris is about to take a bath in his cream cheese.
Commercial for the Great Food Truck Race! Oh lordy. So good.
A crowd of people gather to watch the commercials and they're even worse the second time around. Jyll, Vic and Orchid are the only ones who look even remotely normal.
Predictably, "Balls on the Roll" has zero customers, probably because everyone is also hiding from the awkwardness. I see laptops in front of the faces of most of the crowd. I think.
Jeff finally interviews that "maybe people were turned off by the balls concept". Ya think?
The selection commitee comes by each truck and again I am impressed with my writing friend, MaryBeth. That girl can describe her some food. They move on to Jyll, Vic and Orchid and Orchid is awkward for the first time ever. I feel bad for her! She needs a hug. Next is Jeff, Whitney and Susie. I can't even talk about it, I'm so awkwarded out by the balls. HIDING BEHIND THE LAPTOP, y'all.
Evaluation time! MaryBeth and Penny fight. PENNY IS SO MEAN. Jeff is called out for the "balls" concept, (thank you!) but is saved by his awesome meatball sandwich. Vic wins everything, (yay!) and Orchid goes home (aw).
Next week! Wolfgang Puck calls somebody out, two people go home and Susie cries. See y'all next week!